All of us experience anxiety from time to time. It's a normal part of being human, and in many situations, it's actually a helpful response. In fact, I often tell my clients, "The right thing to feel when something anxiety-provoking happens is anxiety!"
Anxiety helps us recognize potential threats, prepare for challenges, and stay alert to things that might require our attention. Without it, we might find ourselves completely unprepared for situations that require us to respond.
But what happens when anxiety starts showing up when there's no immediate threat? When we're constantly anticipating what might go wrong, preparing for every possible outcome, or struggling to relax because our minds won't stop scanning for problems?
Anxiety can become overwhelming and begin interfering with our everyday lives. The good news is that understanding how anxiety works can help us develop a healthier relationship with it. We don't necessarily need to eliminate anxiety. We need to learn how to keep it from running the show.
What Is Anxiety?
There are lots of ways to understand anxiety, but one way I like to describe it is that anxiety is part of your body's way of preparing you to face something that could be a threat.
Think of it as having three primary functions:
Anticipate: Recognizing and thinking about things that could happen.
Prepare: Getting ourselves ready to respond to a potential challenge or threat.
Stay alert: Remaining aware of our surroundings and watching for things that might require our attention.
When these processes are working together in a balanced way, anxiety can be incredibly useful. Imagine you're getting ready for an important presentation at work. A little anxiety might encourage you to prepare your materials, practise what you want to say, and think about questions you might be asked. You arrive feeling prepared and ready to do your best.
That's anxiety doing its job.
The difficulty begins when these processes become overactive. Instead of helping us prepare for a situation, anxiety can leave us feeling trapped in an ongoing cycle of worry, preparation, and vigilance.
When Anxiety Goes Into Overdrive
Let's look at what happens when those three functions become a little too enthusiastic.
Over-anticipating
You find yourself playing out endless scenarios of things that could happen. You imagine conversations before they occur, worry about decisions you haven't made, and spend considerable time thinking about possible problems.
You might recognize this as overthinking. Your mind keeps trying to predict and solve problems, even when there's nothing particularly useful left to figure out.
Over-preparing
You find yourself checking, double-checking, and triple-checking that you have everything you might possibly need. You might spend excessive time researching, planning, or trying to eliminate every potential problem before taking action.
This can look like perfectionism, procrastination, or an overwhelming need to feel completely prepared before moving forward.
Staying overly alert
You find yourself constantly watching for signs that something might go wrong. You may have difficulty relaxing, feel easily startled, or find yourself paying excessive attention to other people's reactions and changes in your surroundings.
It's as though your internal alarm system never quite switches off.
These experiences can overlap, and they don't look the same for everyone. Sometimes anxiety is obvious. Other times, people continue managing their work, family, and responsibilities while quietly feeling overwhelmed inside.
In fact, some people experience what is commonly described as high-functioning anxiety. They may appear successful and capable while carrying a significant amount of worry beneath the surface.
How Does Anxiety Affect Us?
Anxiety isn't just something that happens in our heads. It's a physiological response involving the brain and body.
When we perceive a potential threat, our nervous system helps prepare us to respond. This can involve changes in heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, and attention.
Some common experiences include:
Racing thoughts or difficulty concentrating.
Restlessness or feeling constantly on edge.
Muscle tension, headaches, or stomach discomfort.
Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.
Irritability and a shorter temper.
Avoiding situations that feel uncomfortable or threatening.
Feeling mentally exhausted even when you've had time to rest.
For some people, anxiety is tied to particular situations. For others, it becomes a more persistent experience that affects multiple areas of life.
It's also worth recognizing that anxiety can show up in ways we don't immediately associate with anxiety. Irritability, emotional exhaustion, relationship difficulties, and difficulty making decisions can sometimes be connected to underlying anxiety and stress.
The important thing is to pay attention when these experiences begin interfering with your ability to enjoy life, maintain relationships, or manage everyday responsibilities.
How Can We Manage Anxiety?
There isn't one approach that works for everyone, but there are several ways we can begin to manage anxiety more effectively.
I generally think about these approaches in three categories: working with our bodies, working with our thoughts, and changing our behaviours.
1. Work With Your Body
Because anxiety involves physiological processes, we can use physical strategies to help influence how our bodies respond.
Breathing is a particularly useful example. When we're anxious, our breathing can become faster and shallower. Slowing our breathing, particularly by making our exhale a little longer, can help encourage our nervous system to settle.
Other helpful approaches might include:
Taking a walk or engaging in gentle physical activity.
Practising progressive muscle relaxation.
Using grounding exercises to reconnect with the present moment.
Maintaining consistent sleep and exercise routines.
These techniques aren't magic switches, but they can help reduce the physical intensity of anxiety and make it easier to think clearly.
I've put together some additional ideas in 10 Techniques from a Therapist to Help Manage Your Anxiety.
2. Work With Your Thoughts
One of the most helpful things we can do when experiencing anxiety is to slow down and examine what's actually contributing to it.
I often encourage people to break their anxiety into its individual components rather than treating it as one big, overwhelming feeling.
Imagine you're a few days away from having a minor surgical procedure on your foot. You might be feeling anxious, but chances are that anxiety isn't about just one thing.
Perhaps you're worried about the cost. You're unsure how much your insurance will cover and whether there might be unexpected expenses.
Maybe you're concerned that something will go wrong during the procedure or that you'll need more time off work than anticipated.
Then there's the recovery. How much pain will you experience? What will aftercare involve? What if you accidentally reinjure your foot?
All of these thoughts might be running through your head at once.
But notice something interesting: some of these concerns are things we can find out more about, some are things we can influence, and some are things we have very little control over.
We can call the medical office and get a better understanding of the costs. We can ask questions about the procedure, medication, and recovery. We can make arrangements at work and plan for some time away.
We can't predict every possible complication or guarantee exactly how things will go.
By separating these concerns, we can identify where taking action might actually help and where we're spending emotional energy worrying about things we cannot control.
This is closely related to another important skill: learning to distinguish between problem-solving and overthinking.
Overthinking: Why Your Brain Won't Shut Off and What Helps explores why our minds sometimes get caught in these cycles and how we can begin stepping out of them.
3. Work With Your Behaviours
Sometimes our behaviours unintentionally reinforce anxiety.
For example, avoiding something that makes us uncomfortable can provide immediate relief. We don't have to have the difficult conversation, make the phone call, or face the situation we're worried about.
The problem is that the relief is often temporary. The next time we encounter something similar, we may feel even less prepared to deal with it.
Gradually, avoidance can become a pattern that limits our lives.
Learning to approach uncomfortable situations in manageable steps can help us build confidence and discover that we are often more capable of handling things than our anxiety would have us believe.
This doesn't mean forcing ourselves into every uncomfortable situation. It means learning to recognize when avoidance is keeping us from doing things that are important to us.
You can read more about this in Why Avoidance Feels So Good – But Not For Long!.
What About Medication and Professional Support?
For some people, anxiety can become persistent or severe enough that additional support is needed.
Medication can be an effective part of treatment for certain anxiety conditions. Depending on the medication, it may help regulate some of the brain and nervous system processes involved in anxiety. Decisions about medication are best made in consultation with a qualified medical professional who can help determine whether it's appropriate.
Counselling can also be an important part of managing anxiety. Working with a therapist can help you understand the patterns contributing to your anxiety, develop more effective coping strategies, and gradually become more comfortable with uncertainty.
You don't have to wait until anxiety becomes overwhelming before seeking help. Sometimes the most useful time to get support is when you first recognize that your usual ways of managing things aren't working as well as they used to.
You Don't Have to Let Anxiety Run Your Life
Anxiety is a normal part of being human. It's not something we need to eliminate completely, and experiencing it doesn't mean something is wrong with you.
But when anxiety becomes excessive, it can interfere with our ability to enjoy the present, maintain meaningful relationships, and move confidently through everyday life.
The goal isn't to never feel anxious. It's to develop a better understanding of what's happening, recognize what we can influence, and learn how to respond rather than simply react.
At Harris Counseling and Consulting, we work with individuals throughout North Carolina who are struggling with anxiety, stress, and the challenges that come with feeling overwhelmed.
Through virtual counselling, we can help you better understand your anxiety, identify patterns that may be keeping you stuck, and develop practical strategies for moving forward.
You don't have to let anxiety make your decisions for you. Reach out to Harris Counseling and Consulting today to learn how we can help.
